


Singed

by orphan_account



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Not a Love Story, Trans Male Character, probably nsfw, touches on elements of dysphoria and self-loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 00:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1324480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>not particularly specific to the characters, but dealing with elements of a potential relationship between the two — a short makeout monologue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Singed

    The small rolls of his neck bunched between my teeth as if I had struck the burnt part of an egg.  I felt his hands sink deeper into the vague muscles that crawled along my spine, just a bit tighter than before. I wanted them to dig in deeper, pierce beneath my ribs, feel around — tear me apart. I was biting too hard, gripping his ass too roughly, but he wasn't breathing an aire of guilt, so I must've been doing something right.  Some lingering part of me felt like a monster, but monsters don't exist.

  
    I snugged my knee between his legs a little closer and he reciprocated weakly, a small pant escaping his mouth like a new curse.  The idea that he was embarrassed by my aggression was... strange?  It felt childish.  I had doubts about his inexperience, judging by his damn bravado, and the unquestioned way he shifted with me, and the way he was so eager to use his tongue when I got my mouth on his for the first time.  Maybe he had just never been on the receiving end of such misplaced aggression.

  
    I bit a new spot on his collarbone — something soft — and behind closed eyes could only see my father's eyes burning through my tuxedo at prom.  I smelled that high school locker room — that burn in my nose from the perfume that stained my skin.  Changing in the bathroom stalls, fearing someone might see what gripped my ribs beneath those baggy sweaters.  I sucked hard, grounding myself in the feeling of his fingers as they curled like leaves against a flame.

  
    I looked up at the silhouette of his face:  eyelids closed, a small part between his lips, his head rolled back onto the pillow.  The sight knotted something inside my chest and I retreated my eyes to the darkness of his neck.  His neck blind-painted with frustration and teeth and lips.

  
    I don't know why I was so angry, why I wanted to grab his hands and place them on my throat, to shove my neck down onto the bed until I stopped breathing.  I wanted to kiss him.  I wanted to love him, the way I knew I liked him.  At least the way I liked his nails, lightly scratching at my neck, his thumbs as they touched my ears, my jaw as he pulled me closer.  Maybe that was enough.  


**Author's Note:**

> i've never written fanfic before but nobody writes trans simmons so like what's up with that, right? comments/crits/suggestions are very welcome


End file.
